I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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