I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
