my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
