He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
