She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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