the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
