You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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