Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award