You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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