Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.