I puked a lego.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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