Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...

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  (918): She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger... http://tfl.nu/dhcq
  Replies (6) Good night (512) Bad night (3248)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!

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  (412): Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it! http://tfl.nu/we6e
  Replies (24) Good night (4200) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  **i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**

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  (972): **i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS** http://tfl.nu/fjtm
  Replies (58) Good night (1731) Bad night (4216)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  He had one of those small greek statue penises

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  (813): He had one of those small greek statue penises http://tfl.nu/uvv6
  Replies (33) Good night (757) Bad night (5400)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.

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  (270): guess they didn't have any donuts in her size. http://tfl.nu/0a1u
  Replies (17) Good night (602) Bad night (3139)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.

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  (412): I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on. http://tfl.nu/5fm3
  Replies (30) Good night (10336) Bad night (1663)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?

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  (757): Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode? http://tfl.nu/1peu
  Replies (15) Good night (5080) Bad night (1215)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.

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  (505): She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night. http://tfl.nu/d1vk
  Replies (5) Good night (3781) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.

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  (209): She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge. http://tfl.nu/14lm
  Replies (6) Good night (2884) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.

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  (412): he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor. http://tfl.nu/z7yu
  Replies (34) Good night (11351) Bad night (1525)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it

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  (910): he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it http://tfl.nu/qxjz
  Replies (13) Good night (3857) Bad night (1298)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.

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  (334): Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its. http://tfl.nu/ucnl
  Replies (11) Good night (1506) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps

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  (609): Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps http://tfl.nu/8xhn
  Replies (5) Good night (2471) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.

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  (937): And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso. http://tfl.nu/q5xa
  Replies (2) Good night (992) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there

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  (501): Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there http://tfl.nu/0rjt
  Replies (7) Good night (1081) Bad night (485)

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