"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?