I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Operation Purity has been aborted
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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