rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
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I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
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I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?