Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction