I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The air was thick with penises
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.