So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
