he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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