hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
