I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
