She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We need a shit load of segways right now
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
