420 ftw
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
