nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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