I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
