yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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