You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
