I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
love makes seman taste better
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
