Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
