Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
