But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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