i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
