Soap is not a condiment
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
