You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize