hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Your dad touched me again.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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