i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
