Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
