dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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