So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
