True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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