We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
