When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
