my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
