just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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