Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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