I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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