I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
