i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize