we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
