"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
