you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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