Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
