I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wish you could order shots online.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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