I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dear god my vagina.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
