It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
