Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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