He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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