What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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