my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
