You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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