it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
