WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
it's great music for shaving your balls
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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