im drinking this country out of the recession.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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