I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
