He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
