we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
