We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Dear god my vagina.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
