Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.