Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
the raccoons are back...
Randomize