Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
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I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
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Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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