At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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