you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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