Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
