he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize