I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
